I’m not one for New Year’s resolution. I never keep them. I used to, though. Draft a list, I mean. But they remain creased and discarded until I find them years after so I stopped. *grin* I was 9 years old then. So I started a diary.
The old cynic in me always thought that promising one’s self something is only good for that moment the two of you (yourself and the other self) made an agreement to change your life. I may talk with myself but we don’t agree much about anything anyway, so what’s the point. It’s better to take one step at a time in the subject of LIFE than disappointing yourself for not changing anything when you read the list again.
I’m not afraid of what this year will bring. I’m not afraid of what the future will bring either. I like to challenge fate with “Hit me with all you’ve got!!” and, though, broken and bruised I know I’ll come out all right. Limping towards the finish line is more fulfilling, I must say. After all I’ve been through I definitely have a reason to brag. : P
The past coupla days, I tried to take a peek of what lies behind the curtain that marks the year 2009. It was pretty foggy and unclear it gave me a headache. The doors for Family, Work, Money (yay!) and that thing they call Love were there but they were closed. That’s fine with me except I would prefer the last door locked so I won’t try to get in. (I prefer not to this year but there is no telling, is there? Hahah..) I forgot, I only entered that door once or twice, and prolly one more time, in my whole life! *grin* (I know you’re reading this and I tell you “I’m keeping my word titah M! I’ll be nice!” Hahahaah)
There’s a storm brewing in the horizon for my family. It started last year and chaos is inevitable. Years ago I would’ve preferred not to be there when things break but, I am a part of it as much as the next sibling, so I have to be there. In fact, I want to be caught in the middle of it. For one, I want to confront who started it and hit ‘em with the facts right in the B-hind. Some people just need to be taught a lesson. There is a limitation to my tolerance for foolishness and spontaneous, shaky, decisions that affects everyone. And I no longer have any room for immature self-pity by the one who make selfish choices, favor the wrong people and feel superior when life is OK but look like a useless, drenched chicken who got caught in the rain, when its not. I refuse to let MY parents be the only place this disrespectful wretch run to when in need and only rank second place when life gets better. Enough is just ENOUGH!
Hmmm. That got me all riled up for a moment. I’ll leave that for now. But the minute the storm breaks I’ll be there.
Now what of work? Well, the new job is way so much better than the last one. That may be too early to tell but in terms of exhaustion and unreasonable tasks, I no longer have that there. *grin* Not for now, that is. Come to think of it, I would never know ’til that change, huh? *sigh* Nevertheless, I find it way better for obvious reasons that I’d just like to keep to myself for now. *grin*
Who knows what the year brings. Good or bad, I am excited to face the year. What else could make living more fruitful than by learning and experiencing the element of surprise. Life cannot surprise me anymore, although, a nice surprise would be well appreciated. Hahhah.
